Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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