Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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