I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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