i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
