i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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