i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
