I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
