dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
