She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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