I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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