IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
