you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
