DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
