Are we in a gay sports bar?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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