she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
