My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
