Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
