I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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