so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
