You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
