I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
