College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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