Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
