i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
