I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
