So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
