is your mom at the bar?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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