eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
