yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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