you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
