My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just blew my weed a kiss
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
