What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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