it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
