I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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