I CAN MOONWALK!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
