ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
