Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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