Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
