when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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