other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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