Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
