There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
