So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
