You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
