You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
