peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
