just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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