He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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