You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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