I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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