I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
